Hitting Rock Bottom

I hate the Yankees. Their annual trip to the post season and usual World Series Victory is a lot like a bad case of gas. You can tell it is coming but can't do anything to stop it.

I hate the Yankees because they are easily the most dominant team in all of sports. They've won 26 of the 97 World Series ever played. Therefore the Yankees are baseball's world champs 27 percent of the time.

I hate that because of a payroll larger than the GNP of Guatemala rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Walker, Texas Ranger to beat up the bad guys. I hate all of the bandwagon hopping fans who root for the Yankees. Most of all, I hate that I actually rooted for the snot nosed punk Yankees to win this year.

I tried to resist, I really did, but after the attacks on the World Trade Center in New York, I could not help but root for New Yorkers to experience The sheer joy a World Series win would bring. I omitted that only one player on the entire Yankee team resides in New York (CF Bernie Williams). I also forgot how much I hated that after every rotten Yankee victory, all of Yankee stadium breaks into song, singing Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" long and brutal enough to make Helen Keller's ears bleed.

My thinking behind rooting for the nauseating Yankees was that somewhere in some cave bunker on the other side of the world, the wretched delusional coward who perpetrated the terrorist attacks might be watching. And as he turned on the television from his little cave looking for smoldering ashes, he would be greeted with hugs and celebration. I forgot that one, Baseball is not as important as I made it out to be, and two, Cable companies probably don't provide service to desert cave bunkers.

Even with the inspiration I thought the Yankees may have been able to bring to downtrodden New Yorkers, I still fought the desire to root for them. No matter how hard I tried, though, I could not but help be drawn in. Constant reminders of the attack forced me against my will to root for the villain Yankees. The NYPD and NYFD hats the Yankees wore daily, accompanied by Mayor Rudolph Juilaini's appearances, added to the already persistent draw of patriotism the Yankees had with the singing of God Bless America at every game. Even Seattle Mariners second baseman Brett Boone said "not rooting for the Yankees was almost unpatriotic."

So I admit, I gave in. Sadly I hoped George "Emperor" Steinbrenner's Yankees would beat the Arizona Diamondbacks and I would save my Yankee Hating for next year. Figures the overpaid jerks would blow it.